My Third Goodbye Anniversary

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:2-3

Patrick. Deborah and John

 

This month, in fact, tomorrow, is the third anniversary of my husband’s death. I admit, as many people told me would happen, my life has indeed moved on. During the first year, I really didn’t believe life would ever return to any semblance of normalcy. During the second year, I was trying to show everyone how well I was doing. And now, at the end of the third year, I feel that I am finally somewhere.Scan0017

I can tell you for sure, the absolute aching pain of missing my Patrick is still there. But now it comes to me out of the blue. A song, a dream, a moment in my day, reminds me of him, and I fall down into that white hot emptiness again.

For that moment in time, the pain hits and the tears still roll down my face. If you have ever lost someone dear to you, I know you can understand. It is almost like someone put their hand around your heart and it stops beating. It catches me completely by surprise. And you know what? The reason it takes me by surprise is because those moments have gotten fewer. Most days are filled with normal thoughts and peaceful, good memories.Scan0015

I can’t say I ever really thought the day would come when I could look at these pictures and not start crying. But I love these pictures. They remind me of so many good times. I hope you enjoy seeing this little glimpse into our family life.Scan0019

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:2-3

I will be honest it has been slow going for me to find peace. I am very lucky as I never doubted that the entire situation was in God’s hands. I just couldn’t, for the life of me, see my life outside of the pain.Farmers Market

Though if you are just starting on this journey, I want to assure you, peace does eventually come. It is almost like I am waking from the dream of life with Patrick into my new life. Today’s peace comes from doing laundry, fixing meals, seeing family, and visiting with friends.Scan0016

It even comes from facebook, and twitter, and blogging, because these helped me stay connected to life while I was grieving. It is almost like I have been somewhere else for the last 3 years and I am finally on the journey to return home.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:2-3

I hope your day has been blessed. I hope that if you have been on a similar journey that you are finding your place of peace.

Happy Sipping,
Lady Sweet Tea
Aging Gracefully Southern Style

Lady Sweet Tea

Lady Sweet Tea is a youngish baby boomer widow who is learning new ways of living and seeking out new adventures as she explores Aging Gracefully Southern Style.

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5 Responses to My Third Goodbye Anniversary

  1. Erika Schanzenbach says:

    This is a very wonderful post. Remembering with you dear friend.

  2. Oh Erika, Thank you so much for being such a dear friend. You and Erin mean so much to me even across the miles.

  3. Barbara says:

    I am only just now catching up on things. This is such a beautiful tribute to your husband and your life together. You are truly a very strong woman to have moved forward so quickly.
    May God continue to bless you on life’s journey. It has been an honor knowing such a woman of strong faith.

  4. I haven’t been over here for a while. Such sweetness in these thoughts and your tribute to your life with Patrick. Obviously, you and he knew a true love. And, I believe I’ve shared this with you before, I find you very courageous in the grace you demonstrate as you’ve moved forward.

  5. Eva says:

    XOXO Deborah

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